this love affair starts from time unknown to me... a time when i was still in her womb...she told me i used to move around a lot while i was there... she told, when i started growing in her womb, i was not alone, there was a tumor also growing alongside me... doctors told her that i won't be born... she chose not to believe in them but chose to believe in the God who promised her a son... she went through a surgery... the pain was a lot...tumor was removed... but doctors told her, there's only a very little chance to have me without any defects... it was most likely that i will be born without limbs...again she chose to believe in the God who promised a healthy baby... and God, like He did, every other time, honoured her simple faith in Him... she worked till the previous day of my birth, exercised a lot as in walking long distances and doing house work, so as to keep me healthy...
once out of her womb, i wasn't nice at all... have always been naughty... she was forced to send me to play school when i was only 2 1/2 years old... coz the house was a mess everyday when she came back from work... when i became more and more naughty as i grew up... she started getting worried but never showed that outside... she started fasting for me every wednesdays and she continued that till i was around 17... those days when i woke up earlier than usual, i used to see her sitting some corner of the room with her eyes closed... a tear drop outside her eyes... she was praying for me every day without fail...
as i grew up, i was changing for the worse... there was not even a single day i had in school without any complaints... always picked up fights... stole money from home...change marks in the report card...tell lies for everything...and the list went on and on...still she kept praying the same way she did... a time came when i was 13, i was so naughty, that my parents were told by my school that they can't have me there anymore...time was too little to find admission in another school... and i saw my mom pleading to the principal (first time i saw her pleading to any person)... i felt i was the worst son on planet earth...
her health wasn't good all these while... one of the disc on her spine slips everytime... this caused immense pain for her... but still when i visit her in the hospital she always gave me the best smile she ever had... even in that pain she would hug me and kiss me... and when i leave her room, i used to hear her cry coz of pain...
years passed by so quickly... i left for studies to another town and stayed in a hostel...still i always tried to stay close to troubles... coz i was always proud, that nothing bad will happen to me coz i got someone back home who everyday kneel down near her bed with a bad spine and cry out to God to gaurd me wherever i was... even with that kind of prayer, i managed to get one suspension from school while i was doing engineering...
time still passed... i went overseas for my master's...i came down to singapore after that...still she kept on praying for me... last year when i went through the toughest time in my life, i went back home... she came to pick me up at airport...hugged me... i felt my fears and pain vanished... we reached home... i lied down with my head on her lap... she just ran her hand through my hair... tears were flowing down my eyes... she cried along with me...she didn't bother me with anything during my stay there... but i could see the mental pain she was in during the time...i never ate properly... she didn't force me to eventhough she cooked what ever i liked to eat... i never prayed nor read the bible... she didn't ask me to but she knew that her prayers will never be in vain...when i was about to return to singapore... at the airport she hugged me and kissed me on my forehead... i could see a similar tear drop in her eyes to the one which i saw years back while she was praying during those early hours of the day without disturbing my sleep...
today, on the eve of another mother's day, when i look back to those 26 years i passed through, what else can i thank God for other than the life of this wonderful woman... 26 years has changed her a lot... now her hairs are white mostly... she doesn't have the mental strength she used to have before and neither got the physical strength... but one thing kept growing, her faith in the Almighty... i see in her a lady who never got a chance to live for herself...always she has been living for someone else... she took care of her parents well till she got married... after that she looked after her in-laws even though she was treated very badly by all of them... she took leave from work for long time to look after her mother in law who was bed-ridden...after that she lived for my sister and myself...now she looks after my dad who is almost bed- ridden... a life that has got meaning... a life thats worthy of living...
what have i given her back?? or will anything i give be good enough to thank her for her life or what she has done for me till now?? all i can say to her is THANK YOU AMMA... I LOVE U MORE THAN ANYTHING ON PLANET EARTH... FOR ME NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN U... I AM BLESSED COZ U GAVE ME BIRTH... COZ U BROUGHT ME UP... COZ U CRIED OUT TO GOD FOR ME... AND ALL WHAT I AM TODAY AND WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE IN FUTURE IS BECAUSE OF THOSE TEARS THAT CAME FROM YOUR EYES....LOVE U AMMA....
yes... i wish a Blessed Mother's day to all the mothers and the mothers to be (especially my good friend and sis Eleesl)...
No comments:
Post a Comment